Tuesday, August 3, 2010

the bearable lightness of being (22)

I just returned from the most enjoyable evening, first having drinks with work playing what I regard as lawn bowls albeit clumsily, then catching up with a v dear friend- ate so much that I had the guilty conviction (and full stomach; see below) to be able to walk all the way back home as opposed to bungling into a cab. 

On my way I put my entire ipod on shuffle. Usually it loves to play me stubborn repeats of The XX, but tonight it knew exactly what to put on for me on this divine midsummer evening. 

...It's been a long night in New York City 
It's been a long night since Twenty too 

There is a very low patience threshold for John Mayer here. Nobody admits to liking his music. It's lowbrow, he's a douche, etc. I don't mind it, and I don't really care what he does beyond his songs. I feel like everybody agrees, in secrecy. How else can he fill MSG? This song was perfect, ambling through the Village. It got me prematurely wistful about how I am to reflect on my year as a twenty two year old in the city and looking back on my time when I'm older, say, ten years onwards. Did I have fun? Did I make the most out of this madhouse city? 

Yes to all of the above, I'm confident to say for now. 

It put me in a very relaxed, light-hearted mood. Smiled at the fruit cart man. He shot back an uncomfortable scowl-grin, a little perplexed. 

A lot of songs are about looking back at time in their early twenties. Lily Allen has one explicitly dedicated to my (our?) age. It's full of regret, self pity and bitterness. How does she have that foresight, I wonder, and should her young self preemptively feel so sorry for her older self already? Meta. I hope the song I write looking at the year that was twenty two won't turn out like that. I'm optimistic it won't.

Then this song comes on. 

She takes a walk 
She's wearing lady shoes
She hides a tear from the city 

At its core, this is a melancholy song, and if I read it right it might possibly even be about dealing with depression (what indie track doesn't?). But. I can't think of a song that more perfectly paints the mood of a silver lining. 

Gathering all the lost loves- what a gorgeous phrase. It could be gathering memories, it could be jumpers (nay, did I mean sweaters?), it could be a whiff of a scent, a smile. I love the vibe of this tune. 

Especially walking home on a crisp Tuesday night, merry on berry sangria and churros. Let me savour this moment a little. 

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