Google Maps' sense of humour

I came across the beautiful blog 3191 a year of Mornings the other day, which is now being published into a book. The premise is that they two friends who are 3191 miles apart document their lives and keep in touch by nuanced photos of everyday mornings; a deep appreciation of beauty in the minutiae of little things, like an egg freshly cracked, or a box of bright buttons. I immediately thought of my best friends spread across the world right now.

A good friend of mine, for example, who is currently spending a year in Kyushu, Japan.

So I hopped onto google maps to see how far apart I am from her right now: 16,734 km, i.e. 10398 miles away.

The funny part was google maps took the liberty to work out a route for me as to how to get there if I had spare 40 days! Their mode of transport for those slightly longer legs of the trip I found particularly amusing. Merely imagining the trip exhausts my mind.

Driving directions to Manhattan, New York

16,734 km – about 36 days 20 hours

Suggested routes

Kyushu Japan

1.	Head west toward 県道404号線		0.2 km
2.	Turn right at 県道404号線		2.4 km
3.	Turn left		0.7 km
4.	Turn left		1.7 km
5.	Turn left		0.8 km
6.	Turn left		0.2 km
7.	Turn right toward 国道221号線		1.1 km
8.	Turn right at えびの駐屯地入口（交差点） onto 国道221号線		8.7 km
9.	At えびの市川原（交差点）, continue on 国道268号線		1.3 km
10.	Take the ramp to 九州自動車道 Toll road		0.2 km
11.	Keep right at the fork, follow signs for 熊本・福岡 and merge onto 九州自動車道 Toll road		275 km
12.	At 門司ＩＣ, continue on 関門橋 Toll road		9.2 km
13.	At 高速下関ＩＣ, continue on 中国自動車道 Toll road		64.6 km
14.	Take exit 山口ＪＣＴ toward 山陽道・広島・大阪 Toll road		1.3 km
15.	Merge onto 山陽自動車道 Toll road		94.9 km
16.	Take exit 有料道路大竹ＩＣ to merge onto 広島岩国道路 Toll road		12.6 km
17.	Take the ramp on the right to 山陽道・広島・大阪 Toll road		1.1 km
18.	Merge onto 山陽自動車道 Toll road		309 km
19.	Take exit 神戸ＪＣＴ toward 中国道・西宮北・大阪 Toll road		1.2 km
20.	Merge onto 中国自動車道 Toll road		30.1 km
21.	Take exit 吹田ＪＣＴ on the right toward 名神・京都 Toll road		1.2 km
22.	Merge onto 名神高速道路 Toll road		49.0 km
23.	Take exit 草津ＪＣＴ toward 新名神・東名阪・草津田上・名古屋 Toll road		1.3 km
24.	Merge onto 新名神高速道路 Toll road		49.7 km
25.	Take exit 亀山ＪＣＴ toward 東名阪道・伊勢湾岸道・鈴鹿・名古屋・豊田 Toll road		1.1 km
26.	Merge onto 東名阪自動車道 Toll road		22.0 km
27.	Take exit 四日市ＪＣＴ toward 伊勢湾岸道・豊田 Toll road		1.2 km
28.	Merge onto 伊勢湾岸自動車道 Toll road		17.6 km
29.	Take exit 高速飛島ＩＣ to merge onto 伊勢湾岸自動車道/名港トリトン Continue to follow 伊勢湾岸自動車道 Toll road		32.1 km
30.	Take exit 豊田ＪＣＴ toward 東名・名古屋・静岡 Toll road		0.4 km
31.	Keep right at the fork, follow signs for 東名・岡崎・静岡 and merge onto 東名高速道路 Toll road		303 km
32.	At 高速東京ＩＣ, continue on 首都高速3号渋谷線 (signs for 首都高速) Toll road		12.1 km
33.	Take exit 谷町ＪＣＴ toward 北池袋・霞が関 Toll road		0.4 km
34.	Merge onto 首都高速都心環状線 Toll road		6.0 km
35.	Take exit 江戸橋ＪＣＴ toward 向島・湾岸線・箱崎 Toll road		0.7 km
36.	Merge onto 首都高速6号向島線 Toll road		8.7 km
37.	Take exit 堀切ＪＣＴ toward 大宮・東北道・三郷 Toll road		0.5 km
38.	Merge onto 首都高速中央環状線 Toll road		0.7 km
39.	Take exit 小菅ＪＣＴ on the right toward 常磐道・三郷 Toll road		0.6 km
40.	Merge onto 首都高速6号三郷線 Toll road		9.4 km
41.	Take exit 三郷ＪＣＴ toward 常磐道・水戸 Toll road		1.1 km
42.	Merge onto 常磐自動車道 Toll road		37.7 km
43.	Take exit 高速桜土浦ＩＣ toward 国道354号線 Toll road		0.9 km
44.	Keep right at the fork, follow signs for 土浦・霞ヶ浦 and merge onto 国道354号線 Partial toll road		2.1 km
45.	Turn left at 中村陸橋下（交差点） to stay on 国道354号線		3.3 km
46.	Slight left at 千束町（交差点） to stay on 国道354号線		0.6 km
47.	Turn right at 亀城公園北（交差点） onto 国道125号線		0.7 km
48.	Turn left at 県道263号線		1.0 km
49.	Turn left		0.3 km
50.	Turn right		0.3 km
51.	Turn right		56 m
52.	Turn left		0.4 km
53.	Kayak across the Pacific Ocean Entering United States (Hawaii)		6,243 km
54.	Turn right at Kalakaua Ave		0.5 km
55.	Turn left at Kapahulu Ave		2.4 km
56.	Slight left to stay on Kapahulu Ave		74 m
57.	Continue on Waialae Ave		0.4 km
58.	Slight right to merge onto I-H1 W		8.5 km
59.	Slight left at I-H201 W (signs for Aiea/I-H201)		6.3 km
60.	Take the I-1/I-H1 exit toward Pearl City		1.3 km
61.	Merge onto I-H1 W		6.5 km
62.	Take exit 8A to merge onto I-H2 N toward Wahiawa/Mililani		12.8 km
63.	Take exit 8 toward Wahiawa		0.3 km
64.	Merge onto HI-80/HI-99/Kamehameha Hwy Continue to follow Kamehameha Hwy		13.7 km
65.	Continue on Joseph P Leong Hwy		3.2 km
66.	Continue on HI-83/Kamehameha Hwy		16.7 km
67.	Turn left at Kuilima Dr		0.8 km
68.	Turn right at Turtle Bay Hilton		0.2 km
69.	Kayak across the Pacific Ocean Entering Washington		4,436 km
70.	Sharp right at N Northlake Way		1.9 km
71.	Continue on NE Pacific St		1.3 km
72.	Slight right at Montlake Blvd NE/WA-513		0.5 km
73.	Merge onto WA-520 E via the ramp to Bellevue/Kirkland		9.5 km
74.	Take the exit onto I-405 S		5.6 km
75.	Take the exit onto I-90 E Passing through Idaho Entering Montana		1,313 km
76.	Continue on I-94 E (signs for I-94/Bismarck) Passing through North Dakota Entering Minnesota		1,326 km
77.	Take the exit on the left onto I-694 E		38.3 km
78.	Take exit 58B for I-494/I-694/I-94/US-12 toward Madison		0.4 km
79.	Keep left at the fork to continue toward I-94 E/US-12 E and merge onto I-94 E/US-12 E Continue to follow I-94 E Entering Wisconsin		399 km
80.	Continue on I-39 S/I-90 E (signs for I-39/I-90/Chicago) Continue to follow I-90 E Partial toll road Passing through Illinois, Indiana Entering Ohio		734 km
81.	Continue on I-80 E (signs for I-80/I-90) Toll road		123 km
82.	Take exit 218 to merge onto I-80 E Partial toll road		9.1 km
83.	Take the exit on the left onto I-80 E/OH-11 N toward New York City Continue to follow I-80 E Passing through Pennsylvania Entering New Jersey		595 km
84.	Take exit 47A on the left for I-280 toward Newark		1.2 km
85.	Continue straight onto I-280 E Partial toll road		26.8 km
86.	Take exit 16E to merge onto I-95 N/New Jersey Turnpike N toward Lincoln Tunnel Toll road		6.7 km
87.	Slight right at NJ-495 E (signs for Lincoln Tunnel) Partial toll road Entering New York		5.9 km
88.	Continue on NY-495 E Toll road		1.2 km
89.	Slight left at Dyer Ave (signs for 34 St/I-495/NY-9A/42 St)		0.5 km
90.	Turn left at W 34th St (signs for I-495)		0.9 km

Manhattan, New York

Uplifting

I have just returned from watching Pixar's latest offering, Up.























I have always been a fan of pixar movies; I must have seen the original Toy Story a dozen times, on good old VHS. Nemo has a soft place in me because of it's Sydney setting, while I found wall-e to be intelligent and thought provoking (the end credits were especially beautifully hand made). Up, meanwhile, resonated with me in a different way.

Something about the theme of growing out with your significant other, losing him/her and then having to cope and continue to live life alone without your better half is something harrowingly saddening for me. Up explores this idea under the guise of a funny and beautifully narrated story, and every single time it touched on the topic it bought a tear to my eye; Maddie thought I was a nut.

Up is certainly not the most heroic (Incredibles), cerebral (Wall-E) or characteristically far fetching (Monsters, Inc.) of all the Pixar movies that have come before it- but something about it; the earthy theme, the scout in us we can all relate to, the grumpy old man we all know and love- makes it all the more endearing and original. Naysayers such as bankers who predicted that Up would have difficulty lifting off because of " its geriatric action hero"can stuff themselves; "wall street analyists" haven't gotten much right lately now, have they? We might as well stop listening to what they are charged to say.

I can see the influence of Miyazaki's studio Ghibli work slowly proliferating into Disney (which now owns Ghibli); the entire premise of a floating house exploring unknown land was previously probed by Howl's moving castle, and it also had other elements of previous disney movies in it too; you will catch references to the Lion King, Toy Story and probably more my slow eye (distracted by the 3D glasses) cannot see. I say this cross polination of ideas and creativity is an awesome breath of fresh air. The Japanese simply don't think like anybody else on this planet.

Here's to you, my two amazing widowed Grandmas currently living a life as if it were always lifted by a houseful of colourful helium balloons.

Fluent Snickers® Speak

On my Chewmute this afternoon while searching for a way to cure my hungerectomy, I came across this unequivocal chewth.

Around a month ago in Marketing class I brought up the new Snickers ad campaign and how much I love it and find it infinitely amusing in which a few of my fashion marketing colleagues scoffed, 'uh, so stupid. Half of them don't even make sense. Would YOU go out and get another snicker bar?'

As a matter of fact, I would.














To be fair, I have always been a big snickers fan. My stomach is enamoured with the nuts and caramel, in just the right size. And it doesn't usually like caramel. Twix just doesn't have the correct proportions. With the introduction of this campaign back in April, my affinity for Snickers grew twofold. It makes me giggle out loud everytime I see one- crossing the street, standing on a platform (What was 'Enjoy your chiiiiumiiiuuuute'? I asked my friend, unawares how my australian accent had completely mutated the funny), across the side of the bus. Yet, if normally sensible girls unlike me would find it stupid, juvenile, unwitty and an insult to their sophisicated intellected, have not Mars done their job? Afterall, I don't imagine myself to be even part of Mars' central demographic; pimply, geeky teenage boys addicted to warcraft? Men who haven't just grown up yet? The Apatow clan, methinks. Neal Rubin from the Detroit Times struggled with the campaign but in the end saw the light; that is, Snickers are merely trying to befriend their target audience.

Can you imagine how much fun they must have had making these up!? They could have been drunk, high, just throwing around ideas and then heckling about it for hours on end. This humour resonates with me- the universal lameness where you just shake your head at but cannot help chuckle a little anyway. Those who restrain from Snickers' omnipresent ticklish billboards are just trying not to let clever marketing and copywriting prevail their uptight and boorish minds; Why not let them win just this once?

I invite everyone to just stop being so serious and just enjoy the lame humour that is Snicker Speak. Live a little. Climb every Mt. Foodji. You don't have to buy a snicker bar if you don't like it (although they are awfully good), just stop shaking your head at them in disgust, okay?